childhood dreams part 1 May 4, 2008

Rin lowered her head as she walked down the street. she pushed up her sunglasses and combed her fingers through her hair and let it fall down in front of her face.

 

Wee pulled down his cap and adjusting his sweatshirt. he walked slowly as he pulled out his phone which took over his attention.

 

for either it wasn’t an attempt to hide from the sun or the rest of the crowd, but rather an attempt to hide from each other. as their paths crossed Rin sharply turned to join the crowd waiting for a bus, Wee walked off towards a magazine stand still emersed in his phone. both dying of curiosity but also not daring enough to turn and look.

 

could it be? after 10 years that their paths would cross in such a way?…

— 

“don’t do it! don’t come over! i’ll get you if you do!” yelled Rin as she watched Wee climb over the wall that separated their homes. both were only childs, both only had each other to play with. Wee was the only one Rin dared to try and get the best of, while Rin was the only one Wee was willing to protect.

 

“you can’t do anything to me! im older than you, im bigger than you” Wee replied as he continued to find his way over the wall.

 

“just you wait” and with that Rin disappeared around the side of the house. “where are you going?” Wee asked getting no reply.

 

He made it over the wall, satisfied with his accomplishment he brushed the dirt off his hands. but as he did that he felt the splash of cold water on his back and the sound of laughter. he turned around to see 6 year old Rin laughing with all her heart holding a bucket dripping with water. between the laugher Rin managed to say “i said i would get you!!”

 

Wee looked at her and Rin stopped laughing she could tell the 7 year old wasn’t amused. after a moment he started to go after her. Rin let out a small scream and began to run. the two chased each other throughout the yard and around the house. Rin turned around and laughed everytime she saw Wee falling behind not knowing that he would slow down whenever he came close. they ended up falling down to the grass with their face to the sun laughing the day away…

—

Rin lowered her sunglasses, she pushed back her hair and held it back with one hand. she turned around as if she was looking around aimlessly, but then she saw what she had been looking for. Wee quickly pulled his hood over his head and turned his back to her. he put back the magazine he had been holding to hide the fact that he had been watching her. she stood there waiting for him to turn around, he stood with his back to her not wanting to turn around to find her gone.

 

their childhood flashed before them as the rest of world seem to speed past them. time stood still for them and for them alone. but then in the same instance they remembered, they remembered why they went their separate ways never to see each other again until this very moment. and in that instance they parted ways once again, Rin continued her walk staring into the setting sun as Wee walked into the darkness with his head lowered to the ground.

childhood dreams part 2 May 4, 2008

three days had passed but Rin still could not forget about seeing Wee. Rin felt tired and worn out, she had not been able to sleep ever since. everytime she closed her eyes memories of her childhood would return and she wondered if the Wee she saw was still the same Wee she knew from before.

 —

“i don’t need you to walk me home, i can get home myself.”

 

“Rin its dangerous, your going home really late. i’ll stay and wait for you”

 

“No, i’ll be fine.” now 14 years old, Rin felt like she had something to prove. what drove her need to be more independent was the fact that Wee was beginning to show his rebellious side befriending those others looked down on. Rin could tell that Wee was upset, but she knew this was something she had to do. Wee was about to say something but before he could utter another word Rin turned and walked away.

 

Rin continued to look at the clock on the library wall, the sound of thunder was the only thing that silenced the ticking of the secondhand. it was almost 9pm and it was dark out but Rin only had a little more to go. She needed to finish the project before tomorrow morning. determined she went back to work and before she knew it, it was past 10 and the storm seemed to be coming closer.

 

Rin gathered her stuff and walked home. the rain started to fall, she held her bag over her head and started to walk with a fast pace but as the rain grew harder she began to run a little faster. Rin was relieved when she only had a couple of blocks to go and stopped in a phonebooth to take a breather. once she caught her breath she stepped out only to find out that she wasn’t alone.

 

“hey pretty girl, whatcha doing out so late?” it was a boy from her school, someone who looked so familar but she was too tired to remember where he was from.

 

“i’m going home, excuse me” Rin replied as she tried to walk passed another boy. the two let her through but a third stepped out from behind the booth and got in her way. the rain began to fall even harder.

 

“so soon? it’s still early, why don’t you stay out with us?” the third boy said with a smirk on his face. Rin looked him in the eyes without a reply and stepped to side to try and get passed him but he grabbed her arm. as he tried to pull her close she swung her bag and hit him over the head.

 

he yelled out in pain as Rin began to run, but the other boys caught up with her. she picked up a stick from the side of the road and held her ground. “leave me alone or i’ll hurt all of you!” she yelled. the boys laughed and moved closer ignoring her threat. she swung as hard as she could and hit one of the boys on his arm and he grabbed it in pain. the other boy grabbed the end of the stick and pulled it closer. they were now face to face, the boy with a develish look, Rin with fear in her eyes. He moved his face closer but before he could do anything she kicked him as hard as she could and he let go. she stepped back but before she could get away one of the boys grabbed her leg and she fell to the ground.

 

“I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MESS WITH HER” a familar voice screamed out. the boys looked up to see who the voice had come from.  Rin lifted her head from the ground to see a familar pair of shoes and when she looked up she could tell that it was Wee. He had been waiting in the rain for her at the end of their block, when she saw Wee she realized where she knew these boys from. they were the ones he had begun to hang out with, the ones that made him a different person.

 

Wee looked down at Rin and she could see the anger in his eyes. he walked passed her and grabbed the stick and stood over the boys. the boys scrambled to get up and ran off into the night.

 

Rin sat up in the middle of road and stared at Wee as he gathered up her stuff, they could both see that her project was ruined. even through the rain Wee could see the tears running down her cheeks. he picked her up and carried her the rest of the way home.

 

her dad put her to bed as her mom prepared her medicine. they thanked Wee for bringing her home, but he didn’t hear a word of it. all he could do was look at Rin as she laid there in her bed still shaking from the cold. still holding on to Rin’s project he turned to walk out of the room, her dad stopped him and told him to stay at their house tonight. although never talked about, everyone was fully aware that Wee’s parents would hardly ever be home.

—

Rin moved some boxes in her closet and pulled out a little box, it was old and dusty but well taken care of. she opened it to find her school project completed with the ink of the A she had received fading with time. she smiled as she remembered how she had woken up the next morning to find that Wee had fallen asleep on the ground of the spare bedroom. lying next to him was her ruined project, as she walked over to him she noticed something on the table. it was a duplicate of her project completed to perfection just as it had been when she left the library.

childhood dreams part 3 May 4, 2008

If anyone had paid any attention to Wee, they would have thought he was watching the world pass by him. but his mind wasnt on the people carrying on with their lives, nor was his eyes watching any one carrying on their business. both his mind and his eyes were focused on one thing, on the rain drops falling down the glass. he had been sitting there all morning, his hot chocolate in hand now turning cold.

—

Wee leaned against the wall and kicked a rock and watched it disappear into the night. he looked at his watch it was almost 10 and still no sign of Rin. as the rain started to fall, Wee began to get angry at himself for letting his stubborness get the better of him. she said she didnt need him. she walked away from him. but he let her go, he left her alone.

 

some time had passed and he heard the yelling. he could tell it was Rin, he could tell she was in trouble. he ran as hard and as fast as he could and then he saw it. two boys laying on the floor and Rin face to face with another. his anger grew and he ran even faster, by the time he got to her, Rin had fallen to the floor. he saw who the boys were, they were his other group of friends. the ones no one could accept. he had warn them before never to touch Rin, but they didn’t listen. for him, tonight was the end of that other life, the life others had grown to hate him for.

 

Wee couldn’t bring himself to look at Rin, but he could feel her staring at him. he gathered up her stuff and finally turned around to look at her. he saw the tears through the rain and they looked at each other in silence. he went over and bent down to wipe away the rain from her face and the tears from her eyes, but she pulled away. Wee pulled back his hand, never before had Rin moved away from him so deliberately. he knew that he had messed up and that he hurt her.

 

“i’m sorry” he said but Rin just stared at him.

 

“no more, i’ll change, i’m sorry.” Rin continued to look into his eyes without saying a word. she could see it in his eyes that this time he meant it. Wee attempted to move her hair out of her face and Rin didnt move away. He picked her up and she leaned her head against him and he carried her home.

 

her mother was upset with him, he knew it was his fault and that she had no reason to forgive him or believe in him anymore. but her father was more understanding. he knew that Wee felt lost without his parents now that they had gone their separate ways.

 

it wasn’t the first time that Rin’s father had allowed Wee to spend the night, but it was the first time Wee accepted. rather than sleep, Wee carefully looked over Rin’s project and stayed up all night reconstructing it. the sun was coming up when Wee finally finished and fell asleep on the floor never before had he put so much effort into anything related to school.

 

Wee finally woke up and it took him a few moments to realize where he was. as he was sitting up he noticed there was a piece of paper next to him.

 

“thank you. eat your food and get some rest or else it will be to easy for me to catch you. ^_^”

—

Wee smiled as he remembered how he found a cup of hot chocolate and some toast sitting in the same place he had put Rin’s project. he took one last sip of his hot chocolate before he got up to leave. he gathered up his stuff and made his way back to the front of the coffee shop. he hadn’t slept for 3 days and needed another cup.

 

Wee fiddled with his mp3 player while he waited in line, oblivious that the line had moved forward he felt a tap on his shoulder and it was then that he realized someone had been talking to him.

 

“mister, its your turn.” Wee looked up and saw the cashier waiting to take his order and he turned around to apologize to the person behind him. but rather than being able to say sorry Wee was speechless. standing there before him was Rin, she herself just as shocked as he.

 

“sir, can i help you? what would you like to drink?” confused Wee turned his back on Rin and stuttered “um… no… its ok… i change my mind.” and quickly turned away and ran out the door.

Childhood Dreams Part 4 May 4, 2008

“WEE!! Weeee wait for me!!” Rin yelled out as she ran after him.

 

Wee didn’t turn back, he didn’t want to face Rin. but old habits die hard, even after so many years Wee still found himself slowing down at the sound of Rin chasing after him so that she could catch up. now at the corner of the street, Wee made his way through the crowd to wait at the edge of the curb for the light to turn.

 

“Weeee” Rin’s voice was much closer now, but there was nowhere for Wee to turn so he did his best to hide in the crowd.

 

“do you hate my this much, that you have to run away from me?” Rin’s voice was now right behind him, her words brought tears to his eyes. the light changed and the crowd made its ways across the street. now it was only Wee and Rin standing alone on the corner.

 

“if you hate me this much, if you can’t even look at me. ill go. ill leave you alone.” she said.

 

there was silence. Wee continued to stand there with his back to her as his eyes continued to fill with tears.

 

“i’m sorry i bothered you. i’m sorry about everything. you must think that i betrayed you and your right. i did and i’m sorry.” Wee stood there and listened as his last memories of Rin flashed before him.

—

screaming in horror, Wee saw Rin’s mother running out of the house. Rin struggling to follow her mother confused at what all the commotion was about. all Wee could do was stand there and watch as the two screamed and cried, as they fell to the ground in pain.

 

the body of Rin’s father was laying at Wee’s feet. blood had covered the ground where Rin and her mother now sat holding on to one another hoping that this was all a bad dream. as her mom let go of Rin to go to her husband, Wee moved over and knelt down besides Rin.

 

he put his arm around her and pulled her close. Rin grasped his hand and felt something cold something wet. she looked at her own hand to see blood. she sat up and looked at Wee and he was covered in dirt sweat and blood.

 

“what happen?? are you ok?? are you hurt??” she asked. Wee took her hand and nodded his head no.

 

“YOU!! you did this you killed him!!” Rin’s mother screamed

 

“MOM!! what are you talking about??” Rin questioned her mother and then she heard something drop. she turned to look at Wee and then at the ground beside him. a gun had fallen out of his other hand.

 

“Wee… what is this? what did you do?” Rin’s voice now shaking as she began to understand her mother’s words. Wee stood up “i’m sor…”

 

“YOUR SORRY???” Rin was now standing face to face with Wee. Wee was silent. Rin grabbed his arms and began to shake him “tell me you had nothing to do with this. TELL ME!! tell me you didn’t kill my father!!”

 

Wee put his head down and turned away from Rin. there was only one way Rin could take his response, that her mother was right.

 

“look at me!! LOOK AT ME YOU COWARD!! how could you?”

 

Wee turned to face Rin. he knew he deserved every word she had to say to him. he had promised her that he had changed. he had promised her that he would no longer hurt her, that he would not do anything to harm her family. he promised he would be a changed man, one good enough to take care of her for the rest of her life. he had let her down again. he knew that no matter what he told them about what happen would matter. even if they believed his story, it didn’t change the fact that Rin’s father was gone.

 

“i didn’t… i’m sorry… Rin i’m sorry.” he reached out to grab hold of her hand but she moved away just as she had done that one rainy night. he could see the anger in her eyes, something he had never seen directed to him before. and before he knew it he felt the sting of her hand sliding across his face.

 

“Get out!! get out of my sight!! get out!! i never want to see you again” and with those words Wee knew how much he had wronged her and even though she had misunderstood everything, he felt there was nothing he could do that would ever make things right again. and for once last time he uttered “i’m sorry” and walked away as the sound of their crying was being drowned out by the sound of sirens.

— 

“i can understand why you don’t want to see me, why you don’t want to talk to me. but i just wanted you to know that i know what you did, i know everything about what happen that day. i was wrong and i’m sorry. i know its not enough to change what i said to you, but i mean it from my heart.” she reached out to grab his hand and Wee could feel her breathe against his neck. “i’m sorry” and with that Rin let go and walked way.

 

“i don’t hate you. i could never hate you.” Rin stopped and turned around to see Wee standing before her. she could see the tears he had wiped away.

Childhood Dreams part 5 May 3, 2008

“Rin… you have to know. i never meant for any of it to happen. i’m so sorr..” Rin could see that even after so many years Wee was still the same, still hurting from the last time they spoke to each other. She took a step towards him.

 

“Wee, i know” Rin reached out and took his hand. “i know what you did for my father, i know you didn’t hurt him.”

 

Wee couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t believe the warmth that came from simply being able to hold Rin’s hand.

 

“let’s go somewhere and talk” she said. Wee was still speechless and all he could do was look at her.

 

“Come on! let’s go i’m hungry. i know you can buy me lunch” Rin said with a smile on her face and she pulled him along as she turned to walk back in the direction they had came.

 

Wee finally came back to his senses and walked along side her. they walked silently holding hands when the rain began to fall again. Rin held her face to the sky and smiled as the rain sprinkled across her face. Wee took out his umbrella and held it over her.

 

“you haven’t changed at all have you?” he said.

 

Rin opened her eyes and smiled at him. “neither have you.”

 

the two found a little cafe with a table tucked away in the corner where they could talk. they ordered their food and their drinks. they sat in silence, looking at each other. neither really knowing where they should begin because both felt like they owed the world to the other.

 

they sat in silence until their drinks arrived. Rin could tell that Wee had a million thoughts running through his mind and so she began.

 

“i saw you, i saw you that day at my father’s funeral” Wee was surprised, he had always felt that he had hid himself well enough from those who attended. “why did you hide? you had nothing to hide.”

 

Wee played with the straw in his cup and replied “i don’t know. i didn’t know what to say to you. you’re father died because of me…”

 

“but he didn’t, he didn’t die because of you. i tried to find you after the funeral but you were already gone. i wanted to tell you that the police told us everything that happen… i wanted to apologize for all the things i said to you” Wee could see Rin’s eyes begin to water as she recounted the events that happen after he had turned his back and walked away

 

“the neighbors had heard the yelling, they heard the gunfire. some had even seen the whole thing. thats why the police came so quickly because someone had call them when they heard my father yelling.

 

they caught the guy who shot my father as he was trying to run away. he confessed to everything when there were witnesses that confirmed he was the shooter. the shooter was upset with my father, he was after me, it was the same guy that had attacked me that night. do you remember?”

 

“remember? i have never forgiven myself for that night. it was my fault they came after you. i never should have started hanging out with them. Rin, i did a lot of bad things because of them but it was my fault. it was my choice to do those things with them and i accepted the fact that everyone hated me for it. but you were the only one that could see past it all, you never forgot who i was and could still see that person inside of me.”

“Rin,that guy, he came back because i left them after that night. i told them if they ever came after you again i would make them live to regret it. its my fault Rin, its my fault that he came back.”

 

Rin finally understood why Wee never said a word the day he left, why he never bothered to try and tell her about what really happen. he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders and to him even if he didnt pull the trigger he was the one who brought the gun there in the first place.

 

she reached over the table and put her hand on Wee’s. “i know how you are and you have to stop it. you did what you promised me you would do. you didn’t know what would happen next, none of us did.”

 

“Wee, everyone told us how you protected my father. how you tried to save him.”

 

Wee looked at Rin with eyes filled with guilt “but…”

 

“no, no but’s…. you tried to save my father, you did everything you could do.” Rin gave Wee’s hand a squeeze and smiled. “Wee i owe you more than an apology for all those things i said to you, i also have to thank you.”

 

“thank me? for what?”

 

“for everything, for looking after me. for looking after my parents, for trying to help my father. you didn’t let him down, i know that your courage would have made him proud. you know, he loved you just as much as i did… as much as i do”

 

all Wee could do was sit in silence, he was frozen by the words he was hearing from Rin. for 10 years he had carried around this guilt and here she was telling him to let it all go. here she was his childhood love telling him that despite it all, the misunderstanding the distance that she still loved him.

Childhood Dreams part 6 May 2, 2008

Rin quickly lowered her head as she realized what she had just said. here they were talking for the first time in 10 years and she had just told Wee that she was still in love with him. She hoped that he felt the same, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. she was scared of how he would react, she knew nothing about his life, what he was doing if his heart had moved on.

 

the two sat in silence, not really sure what to say to each other anymore. for both the silence seemed like an eternity that was broken only by the sound of the waitress bringing them their food.

 

Rin finally lifted her head only to find Wee was still looking at her. she quickly looked away and began to play with the fries on her plate. the silence remained and Rin was scared that her fear that Wee no longer felt the same about her was real and she was anxious to leave before it became a reality.

 

looking at her watch, Rin said “You know Wee, I forgot I have to be somewhere and if i dont leave now i wont make it in time. ill just take my food to go.” Rin began looking around for the waitress and once she spotted, she was going to raise her hand to grab her attention, but before she could do that, Wee grabbed her hand and pulled it down to the table and held on to it tight.

 

“you don’t have anywhere to be. you always were a bad liar, you still are.” he said

 

“what are you talking about? i really do have to be somewhere.” she said squinting her eyes as if doing so would help her read his mind.

 

Wee sat back still holding on to Rin’s hand, “You’re scared” he said with a smile on his face.

 

Rin was upset, she felt like Wee was mocking her. “Scared? scared of what. i’m not scared of anything” she said as she tried to free her hand from Wee’s hold but he only held on tighter.

 

He let out a little laugh as he watched her struggle in her seat looking at everything but him. he hadn’t felt this happy for as long as he could remember. “Wee you’re hurting me, Wee please let go.” Wee finally snapped back to reality, he realized that he had just been staring at Rin all this time not realizing that her hand was turning red.

 

he quickly let go. “Rin I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

 

“its ok, but i really should get going.”

 

“Rin, no don’t go. i want to talk to you.”

 

Rin had already stood up to put her coat on when the waitress came by she asked for the bill and a box.

 

“make that two boxes” Wee shouted as the waitress walked off. all Rin could do was look at Wee and shook her head.

 

“Wee, i really do have to go”

 

“then i’m going with you, you followed me when i tried to leave so i’ll do the same to you”

 

the boxes came and the two packed their foods and left money to cover the bill. but before Wee could put his coat on Rin was already out the door.

(1/10/09)

Childhood Dreams part 7 May 1, 2008

Rin raced out of the cafe, struggling to open up her umbrella, she wiped her eyes of the rain and looked for the best direction to head.

 

“you still think that you can out run me don’t you?” the sound of Wee’s voice came as the raindrops stopped hitting her face. Rin looked up to find that Wee was standing beside her with his umbrella over the two of them. facing forward, he peered out of the corner of his eye and when he saw Rin was staring at him, he smirked and said “even after all these years you’re still slow.”

 

Rin was fuming at how much fun Wee was having making her feel uncomfortable, she turned away from him still struggling to get her umbrella open.  the rain was falling harder now and the crowded street was now practically deserted.  The wind started to howl as Rin was finally able to open up her umbrella.  She took a step back and covered herself with her own umbrella and turned to face Wee.

 

Brushing her hair aside she told Wee “look if you have nothing better to say than to make fun of me, then i guess there is nothing left to say. i’ve said everything i’ve wanted to say and now i really have to go.” Rin felt confident with herself as she took a step back before turning around to walk away when a strong gust of wind took hold of her umbrella and she struggled to hold on to it with both hands.

 

But before she could get a good grip she felt Wee’s hand take hold of her arm and before she knew it she was standing face to face with him. He looked down into her eyes and she had never seen such a serious look in his eyes before. Wee had let go of his umbrella and it wasn’t long before Rin lost a hold of hers.

 

The two of them stood in the rain looking into each other’s eyes for what seemed to be an enternity before Wee pulled Rin close to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she could hear his heart racing. Wee whispered into her ear “theres something else that i have to say to you, that i want to say to you.”

 

Rin backed away from Wee enough so that she could look at him “Rin, i’m sorr..”

 

“Wee you don’t..” Wee put two of his fingers to her lips and Rin stopped midsentence.

 

“Rin, i’m sorry for everything, for the kid i turned into, for all the things that happened because of me, i’m sorry for all the pain i caused you and your family, but there is something i’m sorry about more than anything. i’m sorry that for the last ten year when we were apart, i’m sorry i couldn’t live up to my promise to protect you, to be there for you when ever you needed me, i’m sorry to have made you think that i might somehow hate you because i don’t. it’s far from that, it’s anything but that…” Wee had pulled Rin in close to him and their faces were only inches apart.

 

Rin closed her eyes, she couldn’t believe this was happening.  her mind was racing thinking “am i really going to hear the words i’ve been longing to hear for all these years?”

 

Wee leaned forward and kissed Rin’s forehead before he whispered…

 

“Rin, i love you, i’ve always have and always will.”

(1/10/09)